Already got asked if we're dating
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
