i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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