At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
