i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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