Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
