you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
