this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
