My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
