At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
