He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
