Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
