don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
