Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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