I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize