You work out of a Hotel?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
