weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
