You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
