Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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