8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
