So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize