I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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