I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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