i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize