So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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