dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
