Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
