Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
third nipple confirmed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
