This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
