dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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