marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He has the fingertips of a God
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