I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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