She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize