He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
