i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
