Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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