Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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