i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
