So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
only if we run a train.
done.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
