I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
