I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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