i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize