I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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