Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
