i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
