Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize