I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
