you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
