And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
