just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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