you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
