In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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