: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
