I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize