Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
