I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Farmville is her only friend.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
