I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
