My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
