69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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