If i come over, it means nothing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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