My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
