david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
