Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
