you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
