White coat. Heels.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
