Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And then he peed in my hair
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