My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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