i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
