all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
